I’ve been absent from this blog for a while. There are numerous reasons for this but mainly I’ve been coming home from work and crashing straight into bed as my energy levels have been low of late. While I do have 6 blog posts in draft and I’ve made a few items of clothing I wanted to write this.
On the May 23 2017 I turned thirty and for years I’ve imagined what turning thirty would look like. In my imagination a 30 year old women completely had her shit together, always looked perfect and in my case has finally figured out how to get my curls to do what I wanted them to do everyday (this hope has been around of literally decades). In reality none of this is true as I didn’t magically turn into the above when I woke up on Tuesday.
My life isn’t ‘picture perfect’ or even Instagram perfect but it doesn’t have to be to be great. Additionally, I don’t feel ‘old’ (but seriously I’m going to yell at the next person who asks if I feel old) and I’m not scared of getting old as I’m come to realise it’s a privilege denied to many. There where points last year, especially November when I was at my most suicidal that I doubted I would be alive on this day.
My twenties have been soul destroyed hard and at the same time amazingly wonderful. I’ve made so many mistakes but I also took the step to get help and to start dealing with that I’d been running from for so long. I may always have days when I feel lesser and like complete crap, and I get into a very dark headspace. I will also have days where I feel I can accomplish anything, other days getting up and to work is the biggest accomplishment I make. I currently can’t drink due to medications I’m on for my PTSD and depression, so I had a wonderful morning tea for my birthday and it was amazing. Life gives you challenges its how you see them that makes a difference, in my experience anyway. I’ve listed 30 quick life lessons below, which is the start of a services of posts with a ‘30’ theme.
30 life lessons
- Be who you are (it’s a cliché for a reason)
- Asking for help is not a weakness (I’m still working on this but I’m better than I was)
- Hating anyone destroys your soul
- Learn to laugh at yourself
- Learn how to fail, its going to happen no matter what you do so try and do it with some grace
- Get measured for bras, the pain is not worth it when you guess and it’s not that awkward really.
- Learn a skill that makes you happy.
- There is nothing wrong with being your quirky self, my mum was right
- Eating ice cream for dinner is acceptable only if it happens once a month
- Learn how to apologise sincerely, when in matters
- Stop apologising constantly, see above
- If anything you wear hurts, take it off the pain shows up at some point and usually at the worst possible opportunity.
- Learn how to wear red lipstick. It gives your face such life so please stop being afraid of it
- Don’t wear heels in park. As someone who is short I can’t afford to sink, plus you do tend to look ridiculous so stick to wedges
- Figure out what colours look great on you and you feel great in. Wear these.
- Life isn’t fair. It’s often completely shit.
- Everyone suffers. This does not make your pain any greater or lesser. Suffering is suffering, it is horrible. get help.
- There is nothing wrong with watching old Disney movies when you are feeling low and needy
- Additionally there is nothing wrong with watching any movie when you are low/lonely or you just want to hear another human voice. Even if it does come from a TV show
- Everyone has guilty pleasures. Provided they are legal you don’t get to judge (not that this has stopped anyone but at least be aware of it)
- Giving back through volunteering for any cause is never time wasted and will make you a better person
- Have a dog pet. My dog has literally saved my life on numerous occasions but I’m aware not everyone has the space for a dog.
- Grow something edible. I don’t care where you live everyone home has a space for a herb plant
- Be kinder to people, especially other women you don’t get to judge their life choices as you don’t know what is happening behind the scenes.
- There is no shame in taking medications to help you get through anything (again still working on this), in my case it won’t be like this forever but even if it is who cares? I mean really?
- Learn how to do something brilliantly and don’t apologies for this. You are awesome and you know it. Confidence does wonders
- Be honest with yourself otherwise you won’t grow as a person as well as being miserable and people will be able to sense this in you.
- Learning how to drive a manual car has come in very handy. My dad was right here dammit.
- Learning how to use a power drill is incredibly handy, plus you feel unstoppable when you do use it.
- Learn how to bake. I made my 30th birthday cake and it was amazing
Now for cake