One of the really crappy things about my mental health issues is that I’m so risk adverse. So afraid of taking chances. Of making mistakes. Of doing something new. And on some days not leaving the house.
For those who follow me on Instagram you will have noticed I’m currently in England on holiday. England has always been a safe place for me and I was scared to come here as I didn’t want that to change. I didn’t want to “taint” England with my current (there are shit loads of unpleasant side effects so I’m just going to use this word) problems.
As predicted (but is was still a kick in teeth when it happened and I’m so ang4y and hurt it did, them in angry with myself for hoping it wouldn’t and it becomes a massive spiral) ive had some bad days.
These has been harder than they are at home because one I’m not in my home so I can’t hide, two I’m not working so there is little distraction and three I don’t have my dog to help distract me.
I don’t want you to get the wrong idea exploring London with my family and byself has been amazing and I’m aware of how lucky I am. There are however still really low moments and due to being away from home these are more paralysing than usual.
So where am I going with this. Well last week while avoiding the world and looking up sewing bloggers on Instagram (as I currently can’t see as my machine wouldn’t fit in my suitcase) I came across a sewing event here in London. It was the New Craft House Summer Party.
Now I’m a natural introvert being in large groups of people has always overwhelmed me and this is now exacerbated by my mental health issues. So in a moment of rare optimism I thought I should go out and meet people who love sewing as much as I do. So I brought a ticket, and my anxiety kicked in and I regretted it straight away because that is how my brain reacts to new things.
I did tell my sisters (who I’m currently staying with) and that, coupled with the fact I’d paid for it are the only reasons I left the house. I spent the whole trip there with my head going”this is stupid, go home you won’t have fun, you could be inside warm with people you know instead of strangers, you only made half your outfit, people will see the uneven buttons” on repeat.
When I found the location in East London I was the first there and about 40 minutes early. As more people arrived (goodie bags where promised to the first 30 through the doors) I started talking to my fellow Sewists and my anxiety went.
It was an amazing night filled with like minded people all cooing over amazing fabrics and beautful handmade outfits. There are not many places where it’s ok to touch a stnagers outfit and look at the hem details but this was one of them. It was sewing need heaven and after making pom-poms, my first one was a disaster and disintegrated but my other 3 are so pretty.
Chatting with other Sewists and meeting other who also have mental health issues was a revelation to me. Meeting people in this community who I’d followed from a distance was very like meeting my own tribe sharing a love of creativity, sewing and pizza. In short I feel less alone as I don’t know many people who are there own clothes.
Going to this Sewing Summer Party was also a great sewing mojo booster. After last night I’ve got a real desire to sew a Kielo Dress by Named, Heather Dress by Sew Over It and Butterick by Gertie #6453 (for twirling mostly).
So why did I call this post ‘On Being Scared’? Well I was scared and dreading it and Neg (read this to learn about Neg) was making me doubt myself; she worked hard to convince me I shouldn’t go and it almost worked. I did go however and I had an amazing time with some incredibly creative talented people. Plus I came home with a goodie bag filled with wondering sewing goodness, it’s hard to be as reading sewing magazines.
Last night reminded me why I do things that scare me, I won’t be jumping out of plane anytime soon but I’m sure you get the point. That being leaving my comfort zone I had a good time. I also learnt things including rather embarrassingly since they are so simple, how to make pom-poms. When I ge5 home my pom-poms will take pride of place in my sewing space to remind me that good things can and do still happen. And I can be brave even if it’s for something that seems so silly in hindsight.
Big thank you to Hannah and Rosie at The New Craft House for putting such a wonderful event.
And thanks to everyone who I spoke as well. You are all incredibly talented people.
Some photos of last night are below, if you want to see more search #newcrafthouseparty on Instagram